“Tell me if you need anything” is kind, but it still leaves the person in pain with the work of noticing, choosing, and asking. Better support is specific, easy to refuse, and shaped around what helps her.
Offer choices that require little effort
Ask: “Would you like heat, food, quiet, company, or for me to take something off your plate?” Five options may be too many on a hard day, so start with two. “Tea or space?” can be enough.
Keep the offer light. If she says no, do not take it personally. Pain can make conversation, touch, food, light, and sound feel different. A refusal is information, not rejection.
Remove one ordinary burden
The most useful act may not look medical. Make the meal. Handle the school run. Cancel the reservation. Find the hot water bottle. Take the call she cannot face. Ordinary work becomes heavier when a body is demanding attention.
Do not make help into a favour that needs gratitude. Shared life already contains shared work. The point is to return a little choice and energy to her day.
Know when home comfort is not enough
Period pain that is severe, worse than usual, or not helped by pain medicine may need urgent medical advice. Heavy bleeding with faintness, dizziness, or rapidly worsening pelvic pain can also require urgent help. Use the medical services available where you live.
You do not need to decide what the cause is. You can help by staying calm, arranging transport, bringing her medicines, or writing down what changed while she speaks to a clinician.
Ask what worked after the day is over
Later, ask one simple question: “Was anything I did actually useful?” She may say the heat helped, the talking did not, or she wanted you closer. Treat the answer as guidance, not a grade.
Over time, the two of you can build a short list of what helps and what does not. That list should remain hers to change. The goal is not a perfect routine. It is less work for her the next time care becomes relevant.